youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
