Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
