so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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