Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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