Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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