they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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