i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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