Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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