My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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