I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm passing your future prison.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
