does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
