Buhtt sex?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
