she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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