Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
