My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
