it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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