spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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