The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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