Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
