My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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