Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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