Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
