He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
