so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
