woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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