I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize