My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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