chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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