You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
