he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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