I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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