therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
