Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
