I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i believe in u and ur pee
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
