My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He shit in the fireplace
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize