She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize