Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
