I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
