Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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