Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it's like iHOP with fire
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
