id be glad to
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
