my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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