if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
