why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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