I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
