I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
