she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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