he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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