Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
