I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
