I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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