I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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