All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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