he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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