did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
