from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This house was built for laser tag.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
