sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
