You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
At least make sure they are 18
Why
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Randomize
