I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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