I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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